maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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