This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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