I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
