Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
