I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
how do you play pong handcuffed?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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