just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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