why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
