normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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