so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
