It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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