New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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