You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize