It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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