The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
