you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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