If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
