six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
