can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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