dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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