I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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