he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
