420 ftw
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
