I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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