he told me I talked like a deaf person
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
