We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
