And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
