Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
You don't make any sense
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