out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize
