I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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