Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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