Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
