I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
