just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize