wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
and she was petting her beer can
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
