i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
