Moan for me like Helen Keller
I wish life had little blips of pornography
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
