Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize