forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
