so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Randomize
