5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
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