please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
