so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
3 2 1 whiskey
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
