Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
