Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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