I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
