he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I just want to make out with him forever
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
