I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
