Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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