? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Randomize
