In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
