I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
