i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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