whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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