i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
