what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
