so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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