If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Randomize
