he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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