Pregnant stripper...not hot.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
She just used a chaser for red wine.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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