you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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