i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
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